How I was diagnosed with diabetes type 1 (during biology class)

I'll start with sharing what I remember before I was diagnosed. In the period (months) prior to my diagnosis, I struggled with the feeling I constantly had to go to the bathroom. There as a consistent pressure on my bladder, and if it were up to me, I'd rather be sitting on the toilet than go out and do things. This became a "trope", and even a running joke regarding my behavior in response to this. To elaborater, whenever we went out, I made a habit of going to the bathroom before, to compensate for the feeling of having to go to the bathroom. I felt embarassed but wanted to do everything possible to minimize this feeling of having to go to the bathroon. Additionally, I remember drinking liters of water in high school, and struggling to feel properly hydrated. I can visualize myself gulping down tap water at school like someone who had just ran across a desert and feeling parched.

When I was 14, my best friend at that time was asked during one of our biology classes to provide a urine sample. He was also asked to pick another person for second sample. He picked me, partially as a way to mess with me, but also as a way to provide some support in this awkward quest. I took it as a compliment at that time, and didn't take it too seriously myself. Everyone pees, and my classmates would just end up seeing what my pee looked like. Strange? Sure. Funny? Definitely. I remember us both going to the bathroom closeby the classroom, jokingly struggling and laughing while trying to get our urine sample in the small containers that were provided to us. When coming back, we both gave our urine samples to the teacher. She initially pointed out an obvious factor, which was the coloration of both samples. Mine was a lot more clear compared to the sample of my friend. "1 - 0" in our urine comparison contest I thought. This made her point out that my friend needed to hydrate more. She then used some test strips to showcase which elements/minerals and whatnot are present and which aren't in urine. When checking for glucose, which shouldn't be in urine in the first place, mine showed a clear sign of being present. My teachers responded confused when this result showed, and during class it kind of got brushed to the side. "1 - 1?" I questioned the gravity of this information. After class, she pointed out that I should really check for this thing called "diabetes", which is the first time I heard this term. It stopped feeling like a urine sample contest, and started feeling like something a lot more serious instead. I felt like my life was at stake.

This "diabetes" term rang in my head, and I took her words seriously. After getting back home, I did some research on my computer about diabetes and all of the symptomatology involved.

• Feeling more thirsty than usual - Check

• Urinating a lot - Check

• Losing weight - Check

• Feeling irritable or having other mood changes - Check (?) - This was difficult to make out as I was going through puberty

• Feeling tired and weak - Check

Just reading the first two symptoms already made me feel conviced that I had diabetes. Feeling somewhat defeated and in distress, I called my mom, and let her know: "Mom... I think I've got diabetes." We went to my general practictionar on thesame day and he checked my blood sugar. I remember having a blood sugar above 400 (430 - 450 something). I also remember his reaction, including a heartbroken and empathic expression - then referring me to go to the emergency section in our local hospital. My blood sugar was tested again, I was put on an IV, and I could feel my life turning upside down.

What have I done?

What did I do wrong?

Why me?

All of these questions, but nobody that could give me a clear answer, outside of the usual responses: "Bad luck", "We don't know", "You coulnd't have done anything about this", etc. I remember these responses only adding to the mystery and feeling some sort of guilt in getting this diagnosis.

I remained in the hospital and felt very supported by the people there. Friends from school came over to visit, and I got taught how I needed to manage my blood sugar by doctors and dieticians. After 3 days I left the hospital with a couple of insulin pens (NovoRapid and Lantus), a blood glucose monitor, and some fast working sugars.

I remember thinking: "I guess this is what I'll have to do from now on..."

Looking back, I'm grateful for all parties involved. At thesame time, I can't help but want to put my current self in that scenario, telling myself things like:

• This totally sucks, and you've got every right to feel whatever you're feeling.

• I know that right now, this doesn't make sense to you, but it will.

• Even though I know you want to do everything by yourself, as good as possible, never consider yourself a burden to other people. Keep others involved. Ask for support.

I still tell myself these things, and I wonder what added benefit me or someone else who recently received the news of their diagnosis could have from talking to someone with experience, as well as with experience in mental health care.